Navigating Life with ADHD: Reflections on the Support I Craved in My Youth

7:00 A.M.: 

My alarm is going off. Shut it off.

7:30 A.M.: 

My second alarm is going off… snooze.

7:35 A.M.: 

Alarm, again. Snooze, again.

7:40: A.M.:

I really should get up, but I’m so tired after procrastinating going to bed.

7:45 A.M.:

Okay. I’ll get up. I still have plenty of time. I have to leave by 8:10, absolute latest.

7:50 A.M.:

Alright, out of bed. What do I wear? 

Wait, maybe I should wash my face first.

Oh, the cats are being silly. 

“Clary, stop fighting. It’s not even 8:00.”

“Do you want crunchies?”

Wait, wait, crunchies after I wash my face.

Okay, face washed, aaaaand I have to brush my teeth. Oh, yikes, I keep forgetting to get toothpaste. I seriously need to remember that.

Clothes, clothes, clothes… what time is it?
Oh my gosh, it’s 8:07.

8:07 A.M.:

Okay, kind of freaking out, but you just need to pick out clothes. Simple.

No, not that; I wore that the other day.

I don’t like how this looks on me.

What about that one outfit I’ve been really into for the past month? Has it been washed?
Nope, not washed. Maybe not.

So I hate my entire closet and myself, and it’s…

8:10 A.M.:

Great.
Why do I always do this? What is wrong with me?

Forget it. I’m wearing that outfit. It doesn’t smell, and I am out of time.

The. Cats. Are. Hungry. I. Need. To. Hurry.

“Charlie, you need to move. I am in a rush.”

Crunchies given. I need to run right now.

8:15 A.M.:
I need my keys! Where did I put them?

I tell myself every day to put these on the coat rack, and yet I do not. Why?

Why do I torture myself?

The keys are on the freaking coffee table, and I tore the couch apart.

8:18 A.M.:

Okay, traffic, please.

I am the worst.

I hate being late.

I know better.

Another redlight.

I did it to myself.

I forgot breakfast.

Should’ve gotten up on time.

I need to get it together.

8:33 A.M.:

“Hey, sorry I’m late.”

I wish I could say that it hasn’t always been this way, but it has. I was the typical flighty child who would forget her homework or go into a daze during class. My mom would fuss at me constantly about being late in the mornings or leaving stuff behind, but she didn’t know any better. Growing up in a small, southern town, nobody thought anything of the forgetful, distracted kids. ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder) was taboo, a word only used for the “bad kids.” 

In a structured setting - like many children with ADHD - I excelled. I was at the top of my class and fully prepared for college; however, I was in for a rude awakening. I made it to college in the middle of the pandemic. My days were no longer planned out for me, and I was left to my own devices. I didn’t know the importance of having everything laid out in front of me. I didn’t even decide when I ate lunch! Suddenly, I was a train off the rails. I spiraled, wondering why I was suddenly incapable of getting the most minor task done, and in turn, my mental health took a massive hit. 

It wasn’t until I was 20 that I realized most people don’t live like this. Basic tasks aren’t like mountains, which get avoided until it inevitably causes more problems down the road. I was diagnosed with ADHD by a psychiatrist, and everything clicked! Knowing why I function the way I do gave me a toolbox I never had. Now, I can navigate day-to-day life with more perspective on what works best for me; I no longer feel guilty about being different from other individuals. Though, I often wonder how things could’ve been different if I’d known sooner. Working at Wilson Pediatric Therapy has given me a unique insight into how children with ADHD can be set up for success later in life. Through occupational therapy, they don’t have to navigate a neurotypical world blindly. Instead, they have a guiding hand in finding what works best for them.

When I spoke with some of our occupational therapists, Sally and Laura, they immediately were able to give recommendations on how to help a child with similar difficulties to my own. Sally said that visual aids are typically one of the most helpful tools for children/adults who struggle to stay on task or have forgetfulness. These can come in the form of a schedule, a to-do list, or cards that teach sequencing for the correct steps of activities of daily living (ADLs). Laura also emphasized the importance of a visual schedule and other visual aids.

Why are visuals so beneficial for people with ADHD? In general, people with ADHD have poor executive function. Therefore, initiating tasks -  or continuing them - is more difficult compared to the average person. People with ADHD also have poor working memory, which is the ability of an individual to retain a small amount of information, hold it in the mind, and use it to perform cognitive tasks (Cowan 1). Due to poor executive function and working memory, ADHD individuals may need more cues and redirection to complete tasks. Visuals serve as great reminders to start or re-engage with tasks, and they can act as an external working memory (Baker 1). 

In occupational therapy, they can teach children how to use these visuals in their day-to-day life. Not all visuals are the same, and occupational therapists teach children which are best for different situations. Of course, visual utilization is not the only thing that occupational therapy teaches children with ADHD, but it is a key part of becoming a more equipped ADHD adult. There are still several things I am working on - such as my emotional regulation or ability to initiate tasks - that I wish I had occupational therapy for when I was younger. In my adult life, I have begun to use visual aids, like a customizable calendar, and it has made my ability to break down tasks in my day much more manageable. It makes me wish I had learned to use them that much sooner! 

ADHD can make life more difficult. It’s hard to function in a world that operates on a very different system of thinking. However, we are now in a day and age where people with ADHD have many more resources. ADHD is not taboo, and it doesn’t mean you or your child won’t be successful! My advice is that if you suspect your child has ADHD, don’t wait to act. Getting them the tools they need earlier in life will make their big transitions in life, and even their day-to-day, that much easier. 

Navigating Life with ADHD: Reflections on the Support I craved in My Youth
Lillian Barry

Hi, I'm Lillian! I'm a Patient Support Specialist here at WPT. I am originally from Glasgow, KY, but I moved to Lexington to attend school at the University of Kentucky. I have three cats that I co-parent with my amazing roommate. I love hiking, talking about weird facts, and trying different kit-kats. I also love getting to work with all our amazing families and staff at WPT!

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